8 Things I Learned (the Hard Way) in 2018

1. The people I choose to spend my time with will impact me in a positive or negative way. The things my friends and acquaintances say and the opinions they offer will make me feel some kind of way. It’s up to me to make decisions to ensure that I surround myself with those who bring out the best version of myself.
2. It’s important to strive to be better and to work harder, but also to prioritize being kinder to myself. The goal is to work towards improvement, not immediate perfection. Being a perfectionist has been extremely detrimental to me in the past and it internally justifies my procrastination. But producing barely working code (to begin with) is better than writing no code, writing a bad first draft is better writing nothing.
3. I never really understood what it meant to outgrow a friendship, but I think it is when I notice I am no longer getting out of it what I put in. It’s when conversations become transactional and feelings of trust and security fade. Friendships change, and that’s okay.
4. It is naïve to think that we live in a wholly altruistic world. Individuals regularly make decisions based on what is best for them, and we all find ourselves in positions when we feel that we have to do the same. It’s important to question those around me to make sure I do not end up as collateral damage. And I should not take it personally when others protect themselves in the same way.
5. The world can be seen in absolutes. Either something went the way I wanted it to, or it didn’t. In certain situations, it’s important to focus on asking myself, “what I am I getting from this experience?” And, “how am I impacting this experience for others?” In other situations, it can be useful to think in absolutes. It’s a priority for me or it’s not. I’m ready for something or I’m not. I want this or I don’t.
6. Everyone is different. Not everyone will prioritize the things I do, especially because they haven’t had the same experiences as me. It is important for me to understand what others value and why, and determine how ambitions and goals of different people can fall together to compliment each other. Furthermore, there is value in finding individuals I would like to work with, instead of only the things I want to work on. It’s really special to find people who possess specific qualities that I appreciate, who feel I have qualities that they value.
7. It’s really okay to say no if I don’t want to go out or do something. Sometimes just taking a second to figure out what I really feel like doing with my free time is important. And I don’t need to feel guilty for not having high energy all of the time.
8. It’s what I want to do and what I want to excel in and what I want to focus on. And it’s fine if I don’t know the answers to each of these things just yet. There exists a balance (which I have yet to find) between considering and overlooking unsolicited advice and comments about my priorities.

This year, I frequently went out of my comfort zone, reprioritized various aspects of my academic, professional, and social life. I learned a lot about myself and about society in general. I definitely made mistakes and learned lessons that I feel will be imperative to my growth. I’m looking forward to how I can be a better version of myself this upcoming year, as well as how I can understand more about the world around me.